Curry marsala madras with the LOT :-)

I woke late as usual today and moped for about seven hours. Even came online but there was nothing to post here due to a cloud of unrelenting negativity over me.

Finally I sent messages to my mum and my exflatmate, wrote an email to my brother, and told them ALL how poorly I was feeling. I kept it succinct: the subtext here is "Yes, I am feeling sheit but I need your support so I'm not complaining." That is the intent anyhow.

Then I broke down and had a really excellent cry and listened to some music, then I simply got up and started to clean. I thought, I'm cleaning! in astonishment. Something must have shifted. I had had the faith to reach out and voila, something had shifted. God bless!

I sat out in the sun and reread the small essay, The Nature Of God. It didn't impact me the way the online messages on the subject did in the groups I read it in, yet it helped me in a small way, thus: all beauty, all joy is God. So the wonderful release I felt before was God's Hand on my shoulder. What a relief.

I knew then why I had been feeling this bad. I have learnt the hard way that exposure to negative energy fields through people of low intent has a distinct entrainment effect - translating the gibberish, I mean that it's not negative people themselves but the field around them that has the life-diminishing effect. The injunction is to avoid all evil, not cos it's bad and you're good but cos it's not healthy to your growth and happiness. Very practical.

I started to make a curry with the Lot. I sat in the sun and chopped up raw tumeric root and Russian garlic. I added madras and tumeric powder and ojawan to the red hot ghee and took it of the stove before any smoke rose from the whole frying mush. I cooked Basmati rice in the microwave and added it to simmer in the herbs for five minutes before - and this way the eccessive bit in the whole excessive affair - I added three spoonfuls of cocoa powder, crushed grain powder, and garam marsala. It bubbled furiously and I covered it for ten minutes while I got online and now I just want to say I'm eating a delicious meal and with noone to share it with. O well!

You know, I guess I'm getting there.