"Unless a seed dies, it will not have eternal life."

I let go...

I sink into the earth
Like Sita saying farewell to Krishna

I sink
The earth takes me
Down, down, down...

I inhale dirt first
Then fire

I get joy from self-loss
My soul pours out water of life
I gush and have no ending
I fertilise and see no fruit

I have no taste but sweet earth
I have no insight but earth forever
I am sweet and rotting sweetly
I am decaying into infinite sweetness
I die.

Later
I rise up
Dismayed
Everything is disarray
Infinite chaos arises with me
Chaos, splendid, wrecked, horrible
Like a drug I rise in the blood of the world
Like an evil drug I sink down infinitely again
In the bones and the narrow parts of the world
I am lost again there forever

But I rise up still
Extraneous matter falls away
And I am more me from each falling
All collapses inward and away
And I am left full of myself.

I am the jewel on the crown of the world
The earth is infinitely far below
Long and long I relish it
"I am the jewel in the lotus"
This is repeat, repeat, repeat

Until it is time to fall away again.
And helplessly I let go into death.