Gaia is the word for "unity-of-life-processes". The experiment here is to unify the various threads of voice and sense of self together into an undivided unity. Spirituality, economics, politics, science and ordinary life interleaved.

Monday, January 02, 2006

Blue Monday

Woke feeling groggy today and intending to clean my fridge and kitchen floor. But the sight of the crumbling chiller ice dripping across the dirty tiles was so repellent that I literally couldn't stand it.

So I went out of lunch and dinner, and skipped breakfast. Mid-afternoon I felt myself spiralling down into a really blue patch while I sat at a cafe. Seeking in vain to push away the dark mood, I stood and walked quickly, wondering if I should go see a movie.

I walked past the Christian Science Reading Room. It was closed for the New Year's Day public holiday but as always it had a stack of old magazines in a box outside. I took one and read as I walked, and in a few moments I felt the shell of the blue mood crack and I could pray and feel joy again. The dark mood dissipated into the background as the Presence came to the fore.

I thought, what a blessing it is to be alive...! and grateful that God can still reach through my selfish and preoccupied depression to remind me how wonderful it is to exist?

By the time I had got home I had managed to show myself and a few others a number of kindnesses and I felt much better about myself. Nevertheless, I felt groggy still and drained by the alterations in mood through the day. I can't pretend it hasn't been a rough day for me emotionally - nor can I say I have really achieved much at all either! But at least the day is done and there's always tomorrow.

ADDENDUM - I omitted to say that I arranged my loungeroom today. I moved the office desk to the commanding position (a suggestion of Steve Pavlina's); the bookcase to beside the doorway; and I unwrapped and put up three magnificent and beautiful framed pictures. This is no small achievement for a blue day and I find it interesting that I "forgot" it in the midst of my mood!


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