The Top 17 Most Practical Tools to Delay Gratification, Increase Self Control, and Develop Self-Discipline.

I read 25 articles and books on delaying gratification, increasing self-control, and developing self-discipline, and these are the most practical tools I have found. I submit them without any BS self-help talk or insincere cant. They work if you work them.

1. Daydream. 

People who let their minds wander from time to time are more likely to reconnect with goals and let go of stuff that is instantly gratifying. Tool: when you finish one task that consumed a lot of cognitive energy, take a mental break. Look away from your screen and stare off for a few moments to see where your thoughts take you.

2. Gratitude. 

Considering what you could appreciate and be grateful for is boring but it changes your brain for the rest of the day. Gratitude can lead you to value your future options more. Feeling thankful is strongly correlated with a person’s tendency to prefer waiting longer for better rewards.

That’s true even for material rewards, not just abstract or emotional ones. Practicing gratitude can even help subjects wait for more money as opposed to opting for less cash right away. Researchers found that it was the feeling of gratitude in particular, and not just any positive emotion, that made the difference.

3. Affirm the values that are important to you out loud. 

This makes it more likely that you are able to make choices that lead you to happiness and success. If in public, go to the disabled toilet and do it in the mirror.

4. Accept and Commit to a Valued Direction.

Acknowledge and make space for the temptation or distraction, then gently re-commit to a value and a direction you can go in.

5. Schedule rewards. 

Imagine you have within you a little child and find something that will thrill that child and give that to the child.

6. Distract yourself. 

When struggling with an impulse, replace tempting thoughts with fun thoughts. Think "fun thoughts". Think "soft thoughts". If possible, physically remove yourself from the situation, or at least keep the object of temptation out of sight. Keep your mind busy with enjoyable activities.

7. Reframe Your Thinking

Reappraise the object of temptation. We have a hot system and a cool system in the brain. The hot system makes temptation difficult: thoughts of stress or weakness or false ideas trigger this. The cool system is chilled, kind, calm, nurturing, beneficent and loving. Turn thoughts that evoke the hot part of the system into those that allow the cool part to flourish.

8. Relax already.

Researchers at the University of Illinois found that people primed with words suggesting action, such as "start," or "get on with it," were more likely than others to make impulsive decisions that undermine their long-term goals. In contrast, those primed to “rest” or “stop” found it easier to avoid impulsive decisions. This suggests that the relaxed state is better at inhibiting the pull of temptations. Pushing yourself to "move on" may result in more risky behavior or impulsive decisions. As a tool, you can simply hold in mind the word "relax", "calm", "cool", or "peace" for a few second and it will work.

9. Do some short play of exercise.

When it comes to self-control, short play of moderately intense exercise is all you need to boost your strength in this area. The pre-frontal cortex is responsible for self-control, and short assays of exercise result in increased blood and oxygen flow to the pre-frontal cortex. 

8. Eat or drink something sweet.

Sugar is fuel for the brain. Acts of self-control reduce blood sugar levels. Low levels of sugar predict poor performance on self-control tasks and tests. Willpower can be restored by raising your blood sugar. Periodically replenishing glucose will strengthen your ability to maintain self-control. It seems that a small amount will produce the effect while a lot of sugar will just give you a sugar stone.

9. Pause before you make a decision

Even a delay for the space of a breath can profoundly improve your decision-making abilities. And as the old saying goes, “don’t make a permanent decision out of a temporary emotion.”

Disciplined people, when angry, sad, or frustrated, pause and make space for those emotions without acting on them. A few minutes or hours spent waiting for emotions to cool down is well-worth making a rational decision that plays out well in the long-run.

Especially in regards to money and relationships this is vital.

10. Meditate.

Meditation increases the reserve of willpower we have available and improves attention, focus, stress management, and self-awareness. It should be number one tool but few people do it.

11. Eat a more plant-based, less-processed diet. This makes energy more available to the brain and can improve willpower. It also make you feel better.

12. Use an activation tool. 

Don't wait for it to feel right. Most activation tools are people, feelings, or sayings. Common activation tools are: “Do it now”, “I am responsible”. A powerful activation tool is to simple count from 5 down to 1 and tell yourself you will take action when you get to zero. These prime the brain for action.

13. Forgive yourself and move forward by starting the day again.

Go back to the action where you were acting with discipline and start again. This may be literally climbing back into bed and starting the day again with the alarm and a coffee and water, or it may be arriving at work again. Just start again.

14. Design irregular breaks. 

Schedule mini-breaks into your work. Set a timer for your break so it doesn’t turn into a slacking off session. Schedule a reward for when you get back to work at the end of the break.

15. Do Something Small, Simple, Slow and Short. 

Some people are more self-disciplined than others. But self-discipline is a learned skill. When overwhelmed by a task, ask yourself “What is something I could do that is small, simple, short and slow?” and do that. 

16. Practice deliberately.

Before each practice time set a specific focus for where you would like to improve. This makes it easier to see your growth. Identify growth points by focusing on where you would benefit most from practicing. Ask yourself, “What would benefit me most to improve now? How would it improve your overall performance?”

17. Ask For Help.

People often make the mistake in thinking that reading or studying more should come first in building a skill. Books are seeds, but you need other peoples’ help to grow them.  You need practice with others to build skill. Coaching and instruction works because it allows for the immediate input of new growth focuses that could otherwise take months or years to discover.